To: Mummy

Dear Mummy,

How are you? Must be busy with feeding the 2 little girls and chasing them up and down, right? Or you are now scolding someone for their mistakes again?

Everytime I called, you were always busy with the family. I don't blame you, they need your care. I know. Without you, the family wouldn't be running well like how it is now. But, no matter how busy you are, you'll never fail to ask me if I've eaten, what'd I eaten, did I have enough sleep and followed by that, not to sleep too late, remember my health and don't bath too late at night....etc. These are what you are always concerned with. Chinese says our body always belong to our parents. I agree. I will try to not hurt my own body that you and papa have given to me.

You will never force me to study, never give me any pressure, never want me to achieve anything in order to let you 'have face'. What you want is just simple, my well being and healthy self. I really appreciate your understanding.

Sometimes, I do call before I sleep just to say 'goodnight' to you, the first line you say is always 'why you sleep so late, don't study too hard and it's bad for health you know...' It does make me feel guilty, as most of the time, I don't study but just wasting my times doing nothing, and that's why I ended up staying up till late night to finish my work.

Now, I'm studying for my Wed and Fri's papers... and mUmmy, it's not easy. I have not been a good girl throughout this sem and now I'm doing all the last minute works. I am feeling stress, anxious and helpless. Where are you, mummy? If I were at home, I could always have you to talk crap to, and have nice foods you cook on the table awaiting me. But now, whenever I feel hungry, even late at night, I've to cook for myself and those foods just don't taste good. Last time, I always complained about the food you cook by saying, 'Why this and this again', 'I don't like this..', 'I want something else'. You were never angry with your little girl, you never turn her demands down, although some were just unreasonable tantrums.

After coming here and having to live alone by myself, only I start to realise how hard it is to maintain a household. All those small little chores like 'folding clothes, buy toiletrolls, wash plates, do laundry, buy groceries...etc, that you used to do for me seemed so insignificant, but when I've to manage them myself, they are just not that easy. No wonder whenever you scold us, you will never miss out this line 'you all thought it's easy becoming your mummy is it? you all have school holidays to enjoy and rest, but I've no holidays at all! And my working days is 365 a year and 24 hours a day...'. Although I always stuffed my ears with cottons, but some famous lines of yours still got stuck in my head.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Although we never celebrate it, but this year, particularly, I feel like celebrating it for you. Too bad I can't be there by your side. I always want you to go travel with papa, but both of you will always say no and would want to stay at home and take care of us. I'm sorry for not being independent but I will and am learning how to take care of myself over here. Hopefully by the time the two little girls have grown up abit, you and Papa can go travel to somewhere else.

Mummy...I miss you. You take care too! See you next week.


With lots of love,

Your big girl