Right, rants aside, there is always something worth looking forward to, Christmas holiday is coming! it is going to be my first time spending christmas here instead of going back home. Last few years, this time, I would be busily packing luggage, buying christmas presents to bring home, tidying up rooms and clearing up food in fridge before I come back again the next year. Unlike now, sitting comfortably in my messy room, reading through notes, happily shaking legs thinking what's good for dinner. There's a big pile of clothes behind me waiting to be folded into the wardrobe but it's alright, I can still take my own sweet time, as long as it is done before Friday when my two good frens are coming up. It won't be very nice to want them to live in the mess with me. So, times by myself without rushing to catch a plane is indeed carefree.
Christmas holidays is very much what i'm needing at the moment. Life has been pretty mundane and routine since the SSC module started. Trapped in a lab every afternoon, the only memories i had about afternoons for the past 2 months wasn't about the early sunset, wasn't about walking on high street window shopping, wasn't about playing squash in the gym, wasn't about yakking on webcam with mum, nor was it about spending some quality time with myself doing things I like. It was only and only about working on the same protocol in the lab, repeating the exactly same procedures on different blood samples. Going into the lab is always the time of the day when i last see the sun, for the next time I come out, it will be pitch dark already and street lights are up and people are rushing off work catching a bus in the cold dark air. Oh well, a pretty new experience I guess.
There was one point I recalled, when I stood in front of my lab bench and someone asked me what day was it. I couldn't answer at all despite trying very hard. It was indeed hard to differentiate how was yesterday different from today and how many days had past since the last weekend when I was doing the same thing everyday. That was the most depressing moment about SSC. But I am fine now. It has just become part of my daily life although deep down im still glad I didn't choose to become a scientist from the beginning. Human contacts mean so much to me. I'm still liking this quote from Nietzche alot, 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger.' So, the stronger person is now going into lab again for another day.
Merry Xmas eveyrone! =)
p.s: that was me in the full ski attire.
the feel to blog is slowly coming back, despite i'd been abandoning it for quite a while already. hopefully tonight there will be time for another entry! =) life for the past 2 months need some proper recording!
