Easter holiday unfold

Easter is finally here after a much long wait since the last holidays in winter.

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY! ~~

Scottish weather is forever unpredictable!

At the end of the season where sun is very much expected, there came the snow! This noon was snowing.

I have no idea how the weather in Prague is going to be like tomorrow, please don't be cold. I'm so afraid of cold now.

oh ya, did i mention Prague? haha.

Still remember the post I wrote a month ago about how much anticipation I have this Easter for its highlight trip,

Prague + Spain?

I guess I'm not so enthusiastic anymore. I really don't know why.

How can I not feel like going at all?

For now if you ask me how I want my holidays to be, I'll happily tell you, take some times off, sit at home, spend some times with myself and have a good rest.

Oh well, I need to stop ranting. Flight to Prague is on tomorrow morning. There are still so so so many things to do before I leave, tidy up my ultimatum messy room, do laundry, pack luggage, etc etc. Perhaps thats the reason for my regressing enthusiacism.

~~~~~

How many times can one being let down? After so many months of waiting, it's still waiting. I believe I have put in my ultimate patience, so please do understand I do have my limits. Sometimes I wonder is it because I'm not at all important to you hence you simply can't find motivation to do things that can make me happy, or you are just completely a slacker. Trust me, I'm seriously tired of waiting and repeated disappointment. Please spare me a chance to be happy, when I get back from Easter trip away. Please kindly let me know you have sorted out those ridiculous comp+internet stuffs, although from current situation it doesn't seems quite possible.

p/s: have you ever thought as life is getting so routine and boring, there isn't anything else around can ever surprised or stir up any emotion in you anymore, yet when you turn around a corner, you see something special. at least it gives a heart throb. =)

Sipadan for Summer

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I'm so going to persuade Mr. Gan to go Pulau Sipadan with me this summer, for a diving course! Have always wanted to do it so sO SO badly, and now, EVEN MORE, after reading this, this and this .

How to resist right, you tell me??

and rumour has it that Sipadan is going to be made outbound from tourists in a few years time! More of the reason I need to go soon! So, Sipadan! you stay still like a Siput, don't run, I'm coming this summer!

Hasn't been calling home for a few weeks

For the first time, my mum is panic of not getting my calls home.

So many things I wish I could tell her, on the other hand,

so many things I'm afraid she wouldn't give her approval and acknowledgement.

Today has been beautiful ^_^

Nice people are always around, and I'm grateful I get to meet these people. Life has always been a circle. You never know because of your existence, people has reason to put on a big smile on their faces. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~First, it was Dr. Grubb.~~

So I went in to see him today, asking if he can be my supervisor for SSC next year. Of course he was fully booked, as expected. But what surprised me was, after saying a 'No', he told me to not worry. He will ask other Cardiology consultants if they have any vacancy for me and said he will find me one before the deadline! Seriously, he could have just say a NO and the rest is my own my problem already, it's afterall my own responsibility to find a project. Instead, he took the responsibility over. Where on earth can you find a consultant like that? thanks very very very much Sir, I'm sincerely grateful for your kindness. ^_^

~~ Secondly, it was Mr. Housemate. ~~

His birthday today and we went out for sushi dinner, and i'm so broke now. But ok lar, once a year mah. As I was watching youtube, he knocked on my room door and gave me tomorrow lectures' notes! That's like 5 in a row or smth! He printed all out for me, nicely stapled and arranged in sequence, you know, just like that kind you can order and get from bookstore back home. So nice! hmm, 'Nice' wouldn't do him justice, tooooo nice, superbly nice.

The earth spins, so am I

Yesterday we went out and celebrated Matt's birthday, oh yah! happy bIrTHdaY hsemate!

and yours truly down 8 or 9 shooters, lost count also. people always get drunk on Matt's birthday, somehow. haha.

need no say, this morning is a guaranteed hangover. with the world spinning around quite badly, thirsty mouth, and can't process things properly, I'm now resorting to MSN and Blogger to spend time with. Lucozade is now my best friend. Alcohol is baaaad.

oh you know what?? my w580i spoilt!!! this morning I wanted to check msg, then upon sliding it open, I saw nothing but a blank screen. so my first response was, oh, no batt. charge it. then, as i waited for 5 minutes, I pressed buttons again, blank still! hmm, was it not on? i thought. okay, thats when I discovered a disaster. when I on it, i heard sounds, keypads lit up! but screen was all blank! Oh goD! how to live without a phone la! faint. hopefully tomorrow Monday can get things sorted out, double triple finger crossed.

don't think...

我还能吗？

爱情有时很考人，也很伤人。

early this morning while wrapped up in duvet, I had this very silly thought, yes it is silly, I gotta admit, I thought if you don't love me anymore, I can just die right now.

okay, I should just forget about it.

Random

There were times when I had doubt in the suitability of myself becoming a doctor and the passion required to be one. Today as I was looking through application for placement in 4th year and the information on 5th year elective choices, (I must say med sch here damn kiasu okay! 3rd year only already want us to start planning and arranging schedules for 2 years down the road!)

I came to realise one point,

there's no turning back in med sch anymore. no more.

at this point, I can't possibly give up doing medical degree, don't think I can still do another job or a new degree, or even switching to another profession.

there are certainly prices to pay to come to this point, considering the 7 weeks one viscious cycle (times 3) being endured so far, and the amount of money sponsor had been putting in, the times where only depression+boredom+loneliness occupied, the choice of leaving loved ones, etc.

To know there are much more challenges to come and there would be perhaps hundred times more taxing than now, I can only continue the journey and keep going on.

happy - need to do. unhappy - still need to do. no point complaining anymore.

p/s: I must have sound like a big loser.

Uncertainties...

...are disturbing.

The feelings of: not knowing what lies ahead, the inability to predict them, and the doubtfulness of oneself's ability to handle such uncertainties, can be quite depressing.

Sacrifices and efforts got to be put in yet, more oftenly I was caught in the dilemma of 'how much?' to actually put in. when is the point to stop and turn back or even let go?

I wish I know.

As days go on, many answers unveil. At the same time, more problems lie ahead.

things happen when you least expect....

phewww.... what a relief!

am home finally after 4 and 1/2 hours of 'teaching' in hospital. Or shall I not say teaching.

It's a big big SCAM la wei!

....a SPOT OSCE! can u imagine, grrr.

so the plot goes, our consultant told us the OSCE exam is on Tues. and today Monday, his registrar will give us a teaching session to prepare us for tmr's real deal. Yeah, so we happily went in at 3pm, having nothing at all in mind. It's like preparing a nice clean cd for the installation of useful datas later.

Howeverrr.... things went amiss when Phil showed up and went in a calm tone,

'we're going to do OSCE today, and you guys don't have to come in again tomorrow.'

.................................. it was then a long pause.

total blank reactions from us. nothing to say.

and the next thing I remember was, I was brought to patients and have to start taking history and do an examination!

so, 10 minutes each for history taking and clinical examination.

nothing much to tell from there, nothing interesting, merely my corticosteroids and adrenaline shooting sky high and muscarinic pathways continously sending signals down my sweat glands on palms.

.

.

yeah, it was all over.

and he refused to give us feedback on the spot. so, there will be another session on Wednesday to collect our results. and written exam is on Friday. and I'm so screwed with my revision.

after the test, we stayed and watched a chest drain procedure. it's basically 'drilling' a hole on the chest, using a range from small to large plastic tubes to make a big enough hole to insert a tube into the lung space for PUS to drain out. yeah, smelly, very!

so it sums up to a total 4 and a half hours in ward, 3pm -7.30pm.

speechless lah.

so much of being caught to do osce at the MOST UNPREPARED timing.

I even made a deal with my housemate to do a mock osce tonight to prepare for tomorrow. looks like it's no longer needed.

hmm, perhaps I can take a good bath and have a nice sleep early tonight.

can't be bothered.