CNY is here... and exam isn't too far away

this card came in post today. i was soo happy! what else can feel closer than a card from home. Thanks YingJie! just wait for me to go back for CNY next time. hopefully soon!

Dinner is just over and here i am sitting in front of the laptop and book, very very reluctant to look at the words in the book, it's always this feeling after dinner. 'c'mon, just give yourself a bit more time to relax, afterall u're gonna work hard for the next few hours!' and yeah, then before i even realise, the supposingly 15 mins break will always turn out to be at least 1 hour or more. as i'm blogging away, my angel is fighting with devil trying to pull me back to revision. ha ha, but too bad, i hereby announce angel loses and devil has the say.... for another 20 mins at least.

so it has been the 2nd day of the CNY, only the 2nd day. and i have to go back to book already. hmm. boring. for exams is only 1 and a half day away, and the scary bit is that, i have a whole load of throats problems yet to read. This is the Senses rotation covering the specialities of Opthalmology, Dermatology and ENT. I guess after this exams, we're all gonna be people with great Sense... sorry if my lameness is boring you

Chinese always believe it's better not to touch any book during the CNY, simply because of the similiar pronunciation between book (Shu) and lose (also Shu) in mandarin. and since i'm touching so many books this cny, i shall sincerely hope that lady luck will still kindly smile on me and shower me with the greatest luck in this exam!

I better blog something about the CNY. We did nothing much here except a reunion dinner with the coursemates and a yeesang dinner in bf's place. I figure out the best way to keep the CNY mood going in this foreign land is to, stay at home! for you can create a virtual cny atmosphere yourself, by playing loud CNY songs in the house, decorating dinner table with loads of mandarin oranges and make sure the house is clean and shiny with lots of tibits in the common area. But once you step out of the flat, everything seems just like another normal day for everyone. Not many actually know it's cny season. blah!

you can actually tell how much i'm missing home already. Everyone in the family has gone down to JB to celeberate the new year in grandma's place. Cousins, uncles and aunties are all there, happily chitchating, gambling, eating and enjoying! the reason why i said that was because all my calls this morning were completely ignored. their place got to be so noisy that they don't even hear the handphone ringing and they are simply too occupied. i'm jealous!

forget it.

so, these were what we had for the reunion dinner.

Yee Sang as the appetizer,

in progress 1

in progress 2

The busy camwhoring people:

Jovina my new housemate and Vinton.

Host of the night. roundy round bf Michael and happy Vinton.

Tada!

still camwhoring.

Main course: Steamboat

errr, just ignore the facebook tag. i couldn't find this pic in my camera, had to printscreen from fb.

the South Clerk people.

this dinner supposed to happen in our place but, the stupid boiler decided to stop working right on the reunion night, three of us had to bring the whole dinner over to Michael's place and even our showering stuff! what an experience for reunion dinner! >_<

i think the theme for the night was to hold something and take picture. somehow in all pictures, eveyrone has to hold something in hands. =)

and Tong Yuen as dessert.

Happy Niu Year!

p/s: see, my assumption was correct. I started writing 30 mins ago and now i have yet to shower before revision can officially take place. why can't we have more than 24 hours a day?? i better ciao first.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Hello everyone,

may you have a PROSPEROUS and OXSPICIOUS year ahead and

for those who are studying for exams, may all of us pass with good results,

and may everyone enjoy one whole year of good health and good life!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

This is the 4th year of CNY spent overseas and over the phone. How good it would be to have daddy mummy siblings and grandmas around to spend a cny together. They still sounded so warm over the phone as ever.

and the pearl came from grandma who said, 'don't worry, study hard for your exam. next time u come back in june, i shall cook all the food we have today to make sure you can eat your share!' awwww... i want to go home! isn't having an elderly at home such a bless?

For those who are going home soon for cny, i'm very envious and may you all have a wonderful time back home. I sooo want to go home too!

and how can a cny has no cny songs to go along with, there is this astro one titled 庆祝 (Qing Zhu means celebration) which i think by far the best! enjoy.

来庆祝来祝福 所有思念来倾诉

一年又一年 不管多忙碌

家中有等你回家的父母 就是最大的财富

Gong Xi Gong Xi!

The Meaning of Exam and Essays

is when sitting in front of computer after meal doesn't mean you can switch on tvb series without any guilt...

is when the book is laying in front of you, doesn't mean you are reading it and the next thing you realise you're immersed in is either msn or facebook.

is when every minute pass so quickly when you're away from book but times seems like ages dragging on when you start reading even the first paragraph of the textbooks.

is when you don't feel like reading books, doesn't mean your conscience let you do anything else. In the end, you're likely to end up sitting at one place daydreaming or blankly staring at the computer screen.

is when nothing else can cheer you up anymore. For whatever thing you do except study, it feels like something in the background is haunting you and ringing in the head saying, shouldn't you be studying?

is when you so want to get things over like the essay writing, but to get it started is harder than anything else.

is when midnight strikes again, and you're all tired and exhausted, you feel terribly bad going to bed without doing anything productive for the day and yet you're one day closer to exams and essay deadline.

If you listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain...

Hello everybody! revision is boring as usual lar. but if you're too bored from revision like me and been wandering around looking for inspiration or, too sick from the usual songs list in the comp, here's a good one to try for.

LeeHom being the eye candy is again difficult to resist! and for some unknown reasons, this song reminds me very much of Jason Mraz's Wordplay.

anyway, hope this song cheers u up a little too from the revision piles. =)




oh oh, and i might as well include another song of his that i like a lot but im sure its not something that everybody will like. very cheeky lyrics and very odd combo of instruments. hah! but isn't that very the leehom? i shall leave it for you to judge.




he's still as hot as before. **drool...** =)

you make my day :)

updates: fever has come down quite abit, as i'm typing this away, coughing is getting worse that makes me no difference from a TB patient...

quotes of the day coming from the very lovely bf,

'how come i felt like i'd been cooking for the whole day??'

... from someone who hardly cook yet has been trying to make porridge, steam fish, boil barley water and make pulut hitam all in a day time!

'sometimes i do hope that i'm the sick one, at least can sit back and do nothing.'

'see, i try so hard to feed you well, how come you still never get well?'

Sick, Again

So, I'm sick again, after 1 week of good health recovering from the post-ski flu. This time, it's even worse, high fever, extremely sore throat that voice is currently non-existent, sore muscle everywhere and lightheaded. been staying in bed for the whole day today. the only few things i could remember doing was waking up occasionally running to the loo, take panadol and drink water. Fever is terrible.

The day has been terribly unproductive as expected. gutted. especially when there are opthamology, dermatology, and ENT to read at the same time ssc report to produce. This rotation has been claimed the easiest of 4th year by far, but i'm not finding it stress free at all, especially it's right after holiday and my brain is at a near blank state. I want to work, so want to study and do all the stuff i need to, but please my dear body, don't let me down k?

Now things are slightly better, after sleeping for more than 18 hours today. Bf is so heart warming. I remembered mumbling in bed this afternoon saying I felt like drinking barley water to cool the temperature down. and to my very much surprise, I woke up to a big bowl of barley right in front of me. awww... thanks baby! and the part that make me laugh a little despite the high fever was that, apparently he didn't know barley water is not quite the same to red bean soup of which you can actually eat lots of red beans with the soup. The barley water was filled with beans and there wasn't much water to it. ha, that's very typical of the bf. =)

i'm going back to bed again, panadol is working well for now. i can at least stay awake for a little before the high temperature kick in again. this weekend is pretty much wasted again. grrr! very unwanted. seems like for the next 2 weeks, it's gonna be hard core revision to compensate for the loss. till then guys. have a lovely time revising. =)

Electives

2009 is gonna be a very bankrupt year, i figured. Elective in Sept/Oct is going to cost a bomb. For some reasons i'm not particualrly looking forward to it anymore, because of this major compulsory project of the year, I'm cancelling most of my travelling plan this year just to save up enough for it. That's the price to pay for trying to live independently financially from parents. On one hand, it's a bit of struggle yet on the other, it's just going to be another growing up process I guess. So no more Paris, no more Egypt, no more Ireland and no more Turkey. =(

I've submitted an application to the UM medical center and hopefully it's a yes from them. Whereas for the remaining month, I'm still contemplating between India and Australia. India has always been my top choice. But Dad was very reluctant to nod head after the various recent bombing incidents in the northeast india. I'm still going to send in application forms as planned.

Dad suggested Australia as a safety net choice. Hmm, I'd never really fancy going to that world most poisonous island for my elective and plus, the application fees and living expenses are quite high if i were to go to major cities.

St. Vincents Hospital remains the only hope now since it's Melbourne yet cheap and affordable. It's kind of strange that their elective co-ordinator is working on a part time basis and because of that, despite many attempts trying to catch him in the office by calling them up, he was never in the office. A lady mentioned he's coming back next week, so i'm going to try again, hopefully it's never too late to apply yet. If it's a yes from aus, i guess i'm just going to give up india, no point making Dad stressed for me for a month when i'm in India. Atm, I'm just praying that this attachment thing can be finalised as soon as possible and I can quickly settle down with a secure place in mind and start booking flight ticket.

Right, boring thing aside. To make the previous post slightly complete, this is going to be a quick summary of 2008. Physically, i grow rounder but not taller. Emotionally, it was a long and complicated roller-coaster ride, but thankfully things finally ended on a pretty pleasant note. There wasn't much memories from the first half of 2008, but second half was urmm... can i say colorful? Well, kind of good. Details in the next post, hopefully. I think I'm stopping here before it's night time again and I've to come up with a non-productive day.

Happy New Year people !

Hello 2009!

hi everyone and happy new year! So another year has passed. and Hurray! I survived Christmas holidays here, for the first time without actually going home. Luckily, it wasn't that awful afterall; on the other hand, I still missed the boxing day and the opportunities seeing shoppers go crazy in town. Only till next year. But christmas in Tignes was awesome! Somehow the western new year never mean much to me as would the chinese new year, and as much as i remembered, my new year eve was spent in a totally unglam way, coughing my lungs out and blowing my nose all the way from last year to this year. Post-ski flu!

Hmmm... So, this year CNY I'm not going home again, despite this very much looking forward 'cny-coincide hols' in year 4 since year 1. Veyr much because of the money saving scheme, for........

SIS IS COMING IN MARCH TO VISIT!!!

Finally someone from home is coming to pay me a visit!

and to make sure i play a good host, there are a few plans lying in my head already, umm... probably a roadtrip to highlands, could do a visit to london (guess what, the last time I went london was 2 years ago! i'm praying hard i don't have to get my way lost!), and might be eating out in a few dining places in the Burgh that I liked alot, and also i musn't forget to make her do my housechores and do tesco groceries for me. Sis, if you're reading this, you'll know what to expect from here.

Hello Christmas!

'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. I started my morning with this quote as I couldn't agree less. I guess it just can't help when guys always intepret things with the utmost logics and rationality whereas gals tend to go for the sentimental side, thinking about emotions and deriving conclusions based on instincts or feelings. We are indeed different, and there are plenty of things ahead for us to learn. Like you always say, logics can hardly explain two fields in life - love and morales. Perhaps that's the reason why there isn't always a fix answer to disagreements in a relationship.

Right, rants aside, there is always something worth looking forward to, Christmas holiday is coming! it is going to be my first time spending christmas here instead of going back home. Last few years, this time, I would be busily packing luggage, buying christmas presents to bring home, tidying up rooms and clearing up food in fridge before I come back again the next year. Unlike now, sitting comfortably in my messy room, reading through notes, happily shaking legs thinking what's good for dinner. There's a big pile of clothes behind me waiting to be folded into the wardrobe but it's alright, I can still take my own sweet time, as long as it is done before Friday when my two good frens are coming up. It won't be very nice to want them to live in the mess with me. So, times by myself without rushing to catch a plane is indeed carefree.

Christmas holidays is very much what i'm needing at the moment. Life has been pretty mundane and routine since the SSC module started. Trapped in a lab every afternoon, the only memories i had about afternoons for the past 2 months wasn't about the early sunset, wasn't about walking on high street window shopping, wasn't about playing squash in the gym, wasn't about yakking on webcam with mum, nor was it about spending some quality time with myself doing things I like. It was only and only about working on the same protocol in the lab, repeating the exactly same procedures on different blood samples. Going into the lab is always the time of the day when i last see the sun, for the next time I come out, it will be pitch dark already and street lights are up and people are rushing off work catching a bus in the cold dark air. Oh well, a pretty new experience I guess.

There was one point I recalled, when I stood in front of my lab bench and someone asked me what day was it. I couldn't answer at all despite trying very hard. It was indeed hard to differentiate how was yesterday different from today and how many days had past since the last weekend when I was doing the same thing everyday. That was the most depressing moment about SSC. But I am fine now. It has just become part of my daily life although deep down im still glad I didn't choose to become a scientist from the beginning. Human contacts mean so much to me. I'm still liking this quote from Nietzche alot, 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger.' So, the stronger person is now going into lab again for another day.

Merry Xmas eveyrone! =)

p.s: that was me in the full ski attire.

the feel to blog is slowly coming back, despite i'd been abandoning it for quite a while already. hopefully tonight there will be time for another entry! =) life for the past 2 months need some proper recording!

1621 days ...

02/06/04

08/11/08

4 years, 5 months, 7 days.

=)

Contemplation

I might looked tough on the surface yet ironically, I'm actually an ostrich person deep down.

Whenever there are serious things, I'm always the kind of person that hides her head under the sand and quietly pray that things will get solved by itself. Not a very good attitude i know.

I always look up to people who can face issues bravely, take things in stride, walk through storm with all the true feelings and steadily claim victory or declare failure at the end. I'm seldom someone like that. I'm too much a coward.

Do no harm, something we were told since young. How do one find their courage when they know what they are going to do will bring harm to others?

Growing up seems never easy, often with no pain, there won't be gain. Right and wrong, good and bad seems like two different things. Something might seems like a bad thing to do, but it could be the right thing to do. I'm kind of confused actually.

On one hand, I hate myself being this ostrich, being someone so selfish and unconsiderate. On the other hand, where do I find the courage?

On a short note

2 weeks holidays has officially ended. tomorrow will be time to get fully geared up again and prepare for another 14 weeks of battle. okay la, not exactly battle, but definitely something to be serious with. i haven't been really serious with studies for quite some times already.

~~~

最近都在听郑中基的一首歌，叫做“别爱我”。很老很老的一首歌，不过我却是在最近才发现的。感觉很像发现新大陆。

老人家说的话原来都挺有道理的，很多东西可能大家都知道也都听得厌了，不过始终没有亲生经历还是很难会去相信。好人在这世上也许会有很多，但是好人却不一定会是对的人。

世上的东西往往很矛盾。比如说，你可能会很想很想吃一样东西，结果你就花了大半心思想把它弄出来，结果花了大批心思，买材料啊，准备啊等等。结果弄好了，却又突然不想吃了。原来追求的不是那份结果，而是其中的过程。

最近迷上了三毛的作品，在这里还能看到中文书，实在是难得难得。可能有些人会觉得三毛是个男人，其实不是。她是个台湾人，后来嫁给了个西班牙人，选择到了撒哈拉沙漠去生活。她的书大部分都是以沙漠中的生活为背景，写成的一部部游历。虽然整个两个星期的假期我什么地方都没去，不过精神上，却是到了沙漠里走了一回。原来我还是喜欢看书，我还以为我大了就再也不喜欢书本里面的世界了。大概是因为天天都得看课本，看多了自然也反感了。书中自有黄金屋是对的。

成绩出了，考得不好。不是想象中的。其实也不能怪得了谁，就是一个懒字和没有尽心尽力。不过还好，因为整个过程我是很享受的。

假期的最后，病了。大概是太多东西最近在脑里面钻造成的。不说了，该睡了。明天还要早起。

原来说对不起不难，真正的对不起是不能用语言来表达的。

Am I actually depressed?

speechless...

tired...

worthless...



I shouldn't be feeling this way during a holiday isn't it

Back to Basics

Exam's officially over and it's 1/3 through 4th year already. so fast.

3 weeks of GP in Borders, 3 weeks of Western Neuro and 6 weeks Psych...

and it's all over now, on one hand im glad, on the other, i wish these times could be longer.

Holidays has now officially begun. and it's a 2 weeks break.

after much contemplation, for the sake of money saving and the ski trip in Dec, I will just stay in the Burgh.

Plan for now would be to spend some time with myself, do things that i'd always wanted to but couldn't find a time, flip through my national geographics, wake up at my own time, and spending some times with family which I havent been speaking to properly over the past few weeks, and that two babies look so big already over the webcam! i felt i'd hardly spend time with them when they're at this growing age. missing them...

during these three months ever since the summer, my mood had been fairly pleasant and less depressed like previous, which is a good thing. not entirely sure if it is bcoz of the sun endorphenic effect or the days are actually spent in a better way.

Sometimes i wonder if i have problems in social interaction, when one should be feeling happy for exams are over, im actually a bit down in mood today with reasons remain unknown. perhaps its bcoz of the sudden lost in direction. it could have also come from the subconscious mind when you know you're slowly losing something. the worst part about it, is when you're not even sure if you should own it in the first place. for things like this, , I guess even though the lost could be sensed, it's just not easy to voice it out, for it wasn't even properly acknowledged at the first place.

i should be contented. and not bothering too much about things i shouldn't be. afterall its just back to the basics.

p/s: Mary Poppins tonight was good. I wish i have a magician nanny like her with me now.