This time, I got myself thinking...

This time, not your words that got me thinking, it's me myself.

As far as I learn, it will be nice for couple to share their thoughts, opinions, feelings and perceptions. To grow old together and go through ups and downs hand in hand, not like most of the time we are hoping for each other to decide things for us, but at least you can feel someone is always there for you and to back you up. Happy things, sad things, you will always be the first person in mind.

It seems impossible to love just only one person throughout life. But, there can only be one person to live life with, so I have been told. What is love? I've been wondering alot lately. Is that the geographical distance between causing love difficult to be expressed? Or it's the thinking differences that make people difficult to share thoughts and feel the same in a relationship? I don't know.

Parents blessings is always comforting, well at least for me. Sometimes, I wonder the fear of bringing a rs to the knowledge of parents might suggest an underlying pathology. Could be the fear that they might object. could be the worries that they might have negative comments on you. could be the uncertainties of how am i going to actually tell or why should i tell. could be...lots lots more. Does all that mean the confidences to us is not there? Or does that mean our communication has problem and we can't talk things out together and back each other up? I really don't know. Hopefully when winter comes, answers will gradually surface, together with christmas wishes. Fingercross. =)

ur words been sticking in my mind...

You got me thinking again...


Was it a wrong decision?

Is it going to be a dead end again?


hmm...wish not.
Yet, I can't think of anything that can be done at the moment.

That suits the indecisive me....haha

The medical specialty for you is.... Internal Medicine

Internal medicine is better than any of the specialties. When a patient comes in for a check-up, you can send them home with a clean bill of health. And when a patient comes in with high blood pressure, you can prescribe one of a wide variety of drugs, including beta-blockers, diuretics, and ACE inhibitors. And when a patient comes in with some other problem, you will be able to refer them to one of a long list of your colleagues.

To find out what specialty best fits your unique personality, go to:

What Medical Specialty Is For You?

Sushi

See all the seaweeds loosely wrap around the fillings? Yeah, fail again this time, aikz. Hmm... why hor? Still I think Pei makes ones are the nicest lor, must steal some skills from her =) but nv mind la, as long as edible. So, that tomorrow's lunch settled.

Random picture taken at 7.30am in the Royal Infirmary. I think that was the first time I got there so early and that was to attend operating theatre. Tomorrow morning will be the same again 6.45 wake up, 7.20 bus and theatre at 8am. Tired.

Good night, world. =)

Weekends come and go...

It's Friday again. One week down and 2 weeks more before exams. Although , Matt (my flatmate) and I we are both in the same locomotor rotation; he seems much more busier and has been spending almost 8am-5pm everyday in hosp. WHereas me, duno y everyday like nothing much to do wan. Most days, my alarm rings at 12pm. Next, brush teeth, change, 2 half boiled eggs; then out to catch the free bus to hospital. Carefree n leisure. =)

consequences of having too much free times

Today is quite an exception...

8am-4pm in operating theatre. That is like erm....8 hours. 2 arthroscopes (got Megan and I so fascinated!) and 3 hip replacements. Bcoz didn't sleep whole night yesterday, I seriously thought I'm going to faint in theatre. Luckily 2 cups of coffee managed to pull me through. No wonder angmohs need their daily dose of caffeines to keep them functioning...

And when we were halfway through an operation, the patient came conscious and started talking to nurse. To my horror, I was expecting him to scream his head off for the pain, but oh well, he didn't of course. His lower body was still anaesthesised. Our consultant Mr. Wade told us when he was working in the States, their operating theatres usually prepare a phone next to patients in case they woke up halfway and no one is free to entertain them. They can call their frenz, family or whoever they like.

What if one day u receive a phone call from your fren, in the background it was all the drilling+ screwing+sawing noises and your fren happily tell you he's having his hip replacement in progress. CrAzy riGht? Haha. But still, i thought it is quite cool lar.

Another thing, surgeons here don't need food! Just a cup of coffee or two can keep them working from 8am to 4pm dy, like our consultant. Mr Wade is very nice. But I felt quite bad for not doing well in his sessions. Like today, scrubbed in for a hip replacement. He was being very nice to explain me lots of stuffs during the surgery. But then... people here when they put on masks, most of the time can't really get what they say. Haiz. So having to be polite, I thought the best way is to nod courteously each time he finished talking. Feel very stupid one lerr. So each time he talk talk talk, pause... I quickly smile a bit and nod; once in a while, added in 'Alright, alright... I see'. Don't know he got ask me any questions or not. If got, I give him this kind of response, he confirm think I'm super weirdo dy. Aikz, but never mind lar. Won't be seeing him after this week dy.

Weekend is here again. This time must really make full use of it, starting tomorrow.

Now: 4.42am. going to bath...

nICee

hope you enjoy too! =)

Remission

I should be sleeping by now...

have to wake up early tomorrow for operation theatre. By early, I mean 6.45am! Madness!

It feels awful seeing your own self not being someone that you should be. Self-dislike. Portfolio deadline is coming close. I happily sit around wasting time doing nonsense. Lectures notes mount up since the first day of Locomotor, despite already promised to myself for umpteenth times that I would sit down and read them, till today they are still virginly untouched. Patients come and go everyday in clinic and I thought I will come back and read about their conditions, but guess what? I didn't. Can't seems to put myself back into complete pieces to start working again, running away from work seems to be the best of what I can do atm. Something must be wrong with me.

On the other hand, my new found friend is leaving tomorrow.

Gonna miss Eve's company although it was just for a week or more we know each other. Finally someone can go Jane Norman with me, walk to Princes St and check out Topshop latest on-sales items, hop around beauty counters look out for best skincare products with extreme patience, entertain my impulsive thoughts... et al et al.

Since her train is in next morning,

So we bring her to Rainbow Arch, and feed her with good food before she leave tomorrow.

Matthew took all the food in a plate for himself. See, I told him off...

After dinner, we happily took a picture together.

note: see how ugly I look in those pictures? It means, I need to get more sleep.

I'm off to bed, 2.30 am already.

Good night, world.

A Pretty Day

We learnt plastering and suturing today! Sooo good! Feels like real doctor job, really.

We were taught to plaster someone's limbs. I used to imagine it being done by mixing cement powder with water in a bowl, then simply glue it around arms with a brush and wait for it to harden. What really surprise me was that, the white cement actually comes in a roll form, just like any other bandage wool roll. The cement roll melts when being soaked in water, and the next thing to do is simply wrap it around patient's arm and wait for it to harden. Smart indeed! I always see people walking around with the cemented limbs, never thought I get to make one by myself, fUn fuN!

Next was the suturing lesson! Absolutely love it, although I did a pretty crap job. Hehe. We were taught how to hold a scissors the surgeons' way, poke through skins, tie knots and lastly, stitch up the wound! Despite we were given only fake sponge, that looks like human's skin to try on, but it is really of lotsa fun! La la la la, I'm on top of the world.....=)

~~~~~

new shoes for hospital

Note: I seriously think feet shrink in cold weather.

This size 5 heels from home become idiopathically loose here, it is no longer wearable. On the other hand, weirdly, my feet fit pretty well in size 4's shoes here.

~~~~~

new found love; best snacks!

Initial plan was to pack sushi for lunch for hosp tomorrow. But, lazy la. Eat plainly taste nice too!

Before getting back to work on portfolio case, this is a picture taken when Eve and I were randomly walking on Princes Street.

Just 1 minute before the rainbow, it was raining cats and dogs. And the next minute, rain stopped completely. We've got mad weather here.

Edinburgh is lovely.

So do you, dear. Talks with you are like my daily dose of apple that keeps me going everyday, feeling healthy and contented. =)

Random thoughts

This is not a productive weekend at all, in fact this entire week. Guilty.

Haiz, forget about that.

Today, came by a friend's blog and the first picture that came into eyes was a sunset view from plane and what follow next is her Spain pictures. Aiyoh, Nice larr! I want to travel too! Be it Paris, Spain, Portugal, Prague, or Switzerland. Just give me a ticket, and I will pack and go.

Go in winter ? Hmm.. nono. Going home anyway.

Then Easter? Oh yes!

I want to walk in the path of ancient Greece, then watch Turkish belly dance with pipe musics playing in the background, after that immense myself into the baroque architectures at Prague....

I'm so greedy.

Hehe. Thinking about travelling again makes me happy. Can't wait till the next holidays!

Okayy. Times up. Back to portfolio case writing.

As Celine Dion sings,

I never knew there was so much love

Keeping me warm night and day

Miles and miles of empty space in between us

A telephone can't take the place of your smile

Miss you loads.

A dumber shiying coming soon....

I must be someone lacking of determination. After counting, I'd just realized these are the drama series that I've been following and yet to be completed...

Credits to the invention of crunchyroll.com and emule, ,

1) At the threshold of an era

Total Ep: 106

Reason: Streamyx too slow to download la....

2) Prison Break Season 1

Total Ep: 22

Reason: Like my hongkie housemate said, this series has been too HEAVY. Not advisable to people with weak heart.

3) Full House

Total Ep: 20

Reason: Quite nice la. Funny and cute. But typical lah, bad guy bullies good gal.

4) Da Qing Hou Gong

Total Ep: 40

Reason: Too much like War and Beauty. Copycat!

5) Demi Gods, Semi Devils a.k.a Tian Long Ba Bu

Total Ep: 40

Reason: Did try very best to finish, but due to limited free times in Sg and unlimited disturbance from Piyo the duck, mission failed!

6) Why Why Love

Total Ep: 20

Reason: Not that I don't want to follow, Taiwan's tv only showing up to 7th Episode.

7) Heart of Greed

Total Ep: 40

Reason: No attractive actors, boring story although being highly recommended by everyone.

Upcoming series to be watched:

1) Central Affairs 2

Not sure how nice it is, but many people say nice. Crunchyroll has it.

2) Lovers

Singapore tv advertise it very often. about a doctor falling in love with a gangster...

3) Heroes

I think someone said before, too much dramas will eventually make a person stupid.

Muar Hosp

Hmm...shouldn't make things sound so bad in the previous post. I'm sorry.

When things have gone too complicated sometimes, it is necessary to return back to innocence.

~~~~~

Oh ya, did I mention? Recently, had got myself into this local hospital attachment in Muar. Only one word for it, Tiring! Considering mine isn't exactly following a doctor's schedule, I'm already this dead. Hardest part is definitely to pull myself out from bed early in the morning at 7.30am. This attachment thingy, actually no one control wan. What time we want to go is totally up to us, since we have no specific duty to perform, merely follow doctors walk walk. But, this Muar hospital is smart enough. They gave us a punch card! Haiz... which explain why we need to be there early enough, to get our card punched!

Okay, after punched card, relieved! First week, paediatric ward. Doctors start making ward round at 8.30am. By rules, we have to be there and walk around with him. But instead of showing ourselves immediately in the kids' wards, what we do is ----> go cafeteria and eat breakfast. Food here very nice wan! Morning morning got all my favourites: sotong, birds' eggs, fry mee, chicken wings, milo tarik, and most importantly, Kuih Pelita! Only this place in Muar got, don't know why, almost like hospital copyrighto. Hehez. YuMm yumM~

Doctors here, the bigger their rank, the more un-doctorly they look like. If you see ahpek washing hand at clinics sink, and look like don't care don't care, highly chances he's the specialist there. Especially this paediatrics department's head, from outlook, you might thought, aiyah, this one sure aunty bring daughter come see doctor one, hair curly curly, plump plump, wear cincai cincai. But, not till she introduce herself in superb English. /faint. And fresh grads doctors, normally wear super smart with stethoscope on neck, and white coat over, maybe no choice also la, have to.

Today, in clinic, even more eye opening. Very different from angmoh's practice. The whole department, somehow only 2 consultation rooms have patient beds. We were in one of it. At first, one doctor consulting one patient. Kid ran around. Then 3 mins later, one nurse came in, said, 'doctor, boleh pinjam tu alat BP (blood pressure) tak?' After that, another person came in. This time, a doctor bringing another patient. Seems like there's no more room for consultation. So they are gonna share a room. But there's only one table in a room. Guess what, the newly came in doctor sat by the sink and start consulting patient! /faint. Next moment, another doctor came in too, with her patient + parents. We thought, she come in borrow space also. But there's no space anymore. She went to the patient bed and get the kid lied down, started on a neuro test on the bed. So, you can imagine, one small room, with 3 doctors, 3 kids, 3 pairs of parents and uncontrollable noise. Even better still, the next consultation room can link to ours by a door in between. And suddenly, a boy in the next room ran over and start walking around in our room like nobody's business. When we peek through the door, we saw a doctor talking to a mother, standing by a sink, and another 2 blur med students sitting opposite of the doctor.... What a sight!

If all you do is...

come back, be nice, be sweet,

and

leave once again....

I wish I'd never met you then.

I guess, my worst nightmare and the last thing I would want to see, during this summer back home had come real. A month ago, it was a reluctant heart to leave Edinburgh to come home for the fear of seeing the worst nightmare to repeat. However, after all the comforts and consoles from Edin's people, I came back, and most importantly, with a cheerful and carefree heart all ready to enjoy this LAST long summer break.

Then a month later, which is now, haiz. What else can I say. Sometimes, silence might be the best way when facing the downside in life, especially when words can't do the expressing job anymore, and more arguments will only lead to a worst situation. For now, all I hope for is, let me stay alone in my world, or let the time pass sooner and get me closer to 12th Sept, when I can go back to a world faraway from you again.

07-07-07

Wheeeeeee!!!

So happy.

I like today.

I don't want to sleep. Hope this moment stays forever.

^_^ ^_^ ^_^

Promises Don't Come Easy

A very nice song from "At the threshold of an Era". Try listen to it...you might like it. really nIcE!~



MyMusicCode.com

Name: Promises Don't Come Easy
Singer: Caron Nightingale
Lyrics:

I should have known all along
There was something wrong
I just never read between the lines
Then I woke up one day

And found you on your way
Leaving nothing but my heart behind
What can I do to make it up to you
Promises don't come easy
But tell me if there's a way

To bring you back home to stay
Well I'd promise anything to you
I've been walkin' around

With my head hanging down
Wonderin' what I'm gonna do
'Cause when you walked out that door I knew I needed you more
Than to take a chance on losing you
What can I do to make it up to you
Promises don't come easy
But tell me if there's a way

To bring you back home to stay

Well I'd promise anything to you
You never thought I loved you
I guess you never thought I cared
Well I was just too proud to say it out loud
Now I know to let my feelings go (So tell me)
What can I do to make it up to you
Promises don't come easy
You know I've made up my mind
To make it work this time
That's the promise I can give to you
What can I do to make it up to you